Unlucky Reincarnation
by zed019
Summary: An unlucky boy gets reincarnated and gets forced into an uncomfortable deadly situations. Self-Insert/ Gary-Stu/ SI.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing , this is purely a fanfic for enjoyment. Cross-over from various games , books, anime, manga, and movies. The familiar characters you see here belongs to their respected authors and owners.

* * *

**Zed's POV:**

Being reborn sucks, especially if you found out that you are in an Alternate Naruto universe

I was or my name was Zed, 17 year normal old boy. I was a big fan of Naruto.

If you ask me if I wanted to cast deadly super jutsu then you would be wrong.

I was fascinated in the art of medical ninjutsu, it's one technique cure all really, the fabled 'Mystic Palm' technique.

I studied the human anatomy closely as I wanted to be a doctor. I would always practice the 4 ninja techniques that I memorized them by heart.

It was just the basic academy 3 and the mystical palm technique. Nothing strenuous, not going for calling lightning and energy blasts on my foes. Really it was supposed to be just that, a weird hobby, never had I thought that these 4 techniques will save my life or was it my next life.

Anyway, I died on a car crash, crazy drunk drivers. I really wasn't expecting being thrown out of a womb with your intellect and sanity intact, that was a really really awful experience.

Anyways let's skip the baby stage and now skip to my age of 3.

My name now is Recca, hmm if I remembered, there was a manga that has the same leading protagonist name.

Anywho I found out that I was born into a civilian family, we were nomads who liked travelling alot. I was shocked when we met ninja from many different nations. Which means I'm screwed as ninja's always have a say in things and civilians die so easily.

I went into a state of paranoia that it unlocked my small stores of chakra. At least somethin good came out of it.

I practiced the leaf floating exercise for my chakra control, feeling that energy was weird. Since I can't really use tree walking and water walking, I was forced to take a page from Suna and took chakra string lessons.

It was really hard, but I persevered, I can now used my chakra strings up to 25 meters. My chakra reserves were at high genin level. Not bad for a five year old.

Our travels seem less and less now as there seems to be a war going on.

I found out that the land of whirlpool has still it's hidden village intact. Tree walking and water walking had never seen the light of day and I also found out that the basic academy 3 that I mastered secretly has never been created and distributed. Wow this world is messed up.

Although Konoha has been created, the Uchiha's ruled with an Iron fist and I bet that the healing jutsu Hirashima Senju supposedly have, never really got out of Konoha walls which means it's still considered a bloodline limit.

I was now 8 years old, I have mastered my 4 jutsu that I practiced as a hobby and my chakra string has never been powerful. Yeah, my chakra string can control people now.

A stray shinobi team wanted to have some fun at our caravan. Being severely outnumbered, I had no choice but to run. The ninja's did not really need a kid, so I was able to get away.

What will I do now really?, enemies in all side and I'm not arrogant enough to believe that I can survive on my own. So that means that joining a village would be prudent.

I chose to head to the land of whirlpool, they seem to be accepting immigrants easily enough and I mastered tree walking and water walking along the way. It was actually pretty easy because chakra strings were triple of its difficulty.

I found a caravan headed to Uzu, I was lucky enough to be allowed and was also very lucky that a team of ninja was escorting this caravan.

We were almost near the border of Uzu, but 10 ninja's came to hunt our group.

Our Ninja guarding us was composed of a Jounin, two chunnin and a high genin.

The group was able to fluidly act as a team. They were severely exhausted and there were still two enemy jounin. The two chuunin from Uzu fainted and the odds weren't in our favor.

I decided to take action and extended my chakra strings to the two fainted Uzu chuunin. I controlled them properly with finess and years of experience playing video games helped. They were able to give the opening needed for the Uzu jounin to defeat the two enemy jounin ninja.

They were still puzzled by my magic trick, but it did save them. The rest of the trip came quietly.

I filed some papers and viola, I'm now a citizen of Uzu. My study in medicine did not abandon me as I was able to gather rare medical herbs in my backpack.

I quickly turned them into balms and ointments. I decided to open my small clinic. I didn't really realize that they were in very high demand as ninja's often came to my clinic.

I expanded my clinic to accommodate more people as my name was now somewhat famous.

Karma is sure a bitch. My exaggerated healing clinic reached a high official in the Ninja branch and brought to me a heavily wounded boy, really?, my clinic is not a hospital.

Looking at the boy, I was forced to choose, let him die or save him. Dammit, I was only supposed to be a minor therapeutic doctor to heal minor wounds. What they are asking is a miracle. Still I could not turn my back on that poor boy and asked the concerned parties to leave me and the patient alone. I quickly cast my diagnostic jutsu and activated the Mystic Palm technique and sedated the boy and healed those major wounds.

My superb chakra control and my ingenious use of my chakra string saved the boys life after half an hour of surgery.

The parent of the child gave me the eyes asking if his son survived the ordeal. I showed him his son and was surprised he was healed. After a full day of recovery, he was fit as a fiddle which was a miracle. I asked the parent to give his kid healthy food.

Ninja's and their hate of hospital. I seem to have attracted a serious case of the consequence of my action. So I prepared, I closed down my hospital and live an obscure life. Yes, that is a good plan. I closed down my clinic and paid an apartment in the ninja district. Yes, no-one would expect me there.

A quick henge and tadah, escape plan get-away is a go.

The next day at my new apartment, rumors reached even there about the eccentric miracle doctor missing.

Yes, my plan worked, mwahahahaha, I just add some cosmetics I made myself and viola, Recca is now Tobi, yes my precious, they will not find me.

I applied a job at a seal shop, It only required chakra so I was able to get the job. Fuinjutsu books were just lying like common books there so I took advantage of it and studied the art. The shop only sells explosive tags and very large storage scrolls, how bulky.

After a year of studying, I am now an adept seal master. I reinvented the small storage scrolls, the barrier seals, and my very own accomplishment, the Kagebunshin seal, just pour the amount of chakra you have to the seal and store some more until it's filled. I made the seal to be able to hold ten Kagebunshin worth of chakra. I also invented the henge seal since they have not invented the technique.

I decided that my shop apprentice in seals was good enough and I asked the owner if he would be mad if I opened my own seal shop. He just laughed and welcomed the challenge. Very few continued that art and very few stores supply the seals.

I bought a small building in the Ninja district and opened my small seal shop. I didn't really sell explosive tags as I didn't want to run-out my former boss's business.

As expected, it became a hit, I was rolling in money. My stock was all sold as if it was ran by a rabbid typhoon. I decided to open once a week as my seal creation stock is ever so low.

I decided to use my Kagebunshin seal to speed up the process, it really was a godsend.

I was now age 15, an accomplished seal master. I have successfully created a mystical palm seal, I hoarded them as my prize possession and stored 10000 of those seals in my storage seal tattoo'd on my skin. I can now also use blood as ink for the seals, since I have my healing technique, blood loss doesn't come easily to me.

Good things must come to a close, with Uzu's new supply in their seals, jobs from various Daimyo centered on Uzu and Konoha didn't like it one bit and declared war on Uzu. The forces of Uzu were small but they were skilled. Konoha had numbers on their side.

Fearing for my life, I opened up my seal store and unveiled my medical healing seal. There was a limit of 20 per ninja that I sold to and I also sold it cheap showing my patriotism to Uzu.

With Uzu now armed to the bone, their forces was able to head toe to toe with Konoha.

Casualties were high on both side, but Uzu won and a treaty between Uzu and Konoha was made.

I was now age 16, I have delved into the art of sealing a Biju safely and also studied space time seals along with my other recreated seal, such as gravity and paralyze seal and energy absorption seal.

Fate reared its ugly head again as all the other major villages decided to invade Uzu and worst of all Konoha defected.

Good thing I stored my things on me the whole time and changed my currency into gold and silver. Yeah, I'm just that paranoid, I headed to my basement and completed my dimension space time seal.

I managed to escape just in time to avoid Uzu's destruction.

I woke up in a hospital, not just a regular hospital, an advanced hospital. I should be happy, maybe this world is normal.

My hope dashed away when an old man introduced himself as Kusanagi Ichirou. Yeah, I recognize that name from an anime and novel called campione.

How unlucky, I thanked the man sincerely and I was about to leave.

Ichirou stopped me and talked about my paperwork which was non-existant. I told him I was an illegal alien, that would probably satiate his curiosity. That wasn't the end of it though, we argued about my current situation and I was adamant that I was fine. Yeah that didn't end well as I thought as I argued with Ichirou for five hours and lost.

The next day, I was finally released from the hospital and I was now Kusanagi Recca, adoptive son of Kusanagi Ichirou. Oh woe is me, this is like one of those messed up anime.

Later that day, I was introduced to Godou and Shizuka, my new older brother and younger sister.

We took a day off and I managed to bring some groceries, yeah living alone can make your cooking skill delicious. While I was doing this, I used my Kagebunshin seal and created 20 clones and henged them to scour the library for information.

I cooked for my new family and I seem to have gained a cooking rival in Shizuka. My clones dispelled that night slowly and I learned, mostly history, I seem to have a good hold on the other subjects.

I was put through school in Jounan academy. My assessment test results said that I belong in first year high school. My brother on the other hand is a also a first year in a different class.

During my day off, I said to my family that I will be looking for a part-time job. In reality, I was trying to clear my head at the beach.

I was unlucky however that a heretic God descended there.

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** Cú Chulainn** (クー・フーリン, Kū Fūrain?), a hero from the Ulster Cycle of Irish mythology. He was a demigod, the offspring of a mortal woman, Deichtine, the younger sister of King Conchobar mac Nessa, and the deity, Lugh, the god who governed over the sun and a member of the Danann divine family in Celtic Mythology. Deichtine, the daughter of a druid, Conchobar's father, and Maga, the widow of Ross the Red, disappeared in the Land of the Young without marrying anyone. There, she bore Sétanta (セタンタ, Setanta?), the child of the sun god.

Also known as the Hound of Culann.

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Yes, luck was not on my side today as the lancer from fate/stay night decided to pop up and say hi.

"I don't suppose you just came here for a chat?." I asked him casually.

"Nay young warrior, we duel." He said as he striked me down with his spear.

I quickly substituted and made a kagebunshin seal to place a barrier seal in our location.

Feeling my life in peril, I unsealed my special battle seal clones and used them as my puppets.

"Ohh?, interesting choice of weapons, but you have to do better than that to defeat me, oh mysterious one." Said Cú Chulainn whom I will be calling Lancer from now on.

My clones or more precisely, my Kagebunshin clones that I beefed up with seals, exchanged high speed blows with lancer, a small opening revealed and my battle clones attached a gravity seal that melded into launchers skin.

"Ohh?, it warms my heart that someone is still practicing runes, hahahaha oh this will be fun." Lancer said as our battle continued.

With the gravity seal in place, Lancers movement become sluggish and I was able to attach him several gravity and energy suppression seals. He seems to be on his last legs panting severely and I decided to give the finishing blow personally.

"Hah, hah, truly a work of a master in runes, but, you have fallen into my trap." Lancer said as he poured his remaining energy to his blood red lance.

**"Gáe Bolg."** Lancer said as he threw the cursed lance and it came alive looking for his target which was me.

I tried to evade it but it was no use, my heart was pierced and I feel like I only had one minute to live.

"You are a formidable opponent young warrior, I will always remember our fight, what is thy name?." Lancer asked earnestly.

"It's Recca, you may have won, but I still got a trick up my sleeve." I said as my battle clones/ originally kagebunshin went into action, they still retain the original functionality of the kagebunshin which allows them to think independently.

My clones converged and hugged Lancer from all side.

"What?." Was all Lancer said as a large explosion of explosive tags making it a small nuke worth's of explosive consumed him.

The explosion cleared and showed Lancer's battered form.

"Magnificent." was all he said as he vanished into golden particles.

I had a hazy dream that I met Pandora and became a campione, surely that's a laugh.

It wasn't until I woke up and confirmed that I'm still alive that confirmed my suspicions that I became a campione.

My chakra reserves skyrocketed when I diagnosed myself.

This could also mean that more shady organizations are out to get me and other campione out there also wanted a piece of me.

I felt that I was not ready to go out and reveal my new status, so being a seal master, I made a seal for myself that supresses my nature as a campione, and I also made an energy suppression seal which made my energy levels at a civilian level.

After one hour of making those intricate seals, I was finally ready to head home and I unsealed my barrier seals in the beach.

A few weeks of normality passed, but something strange happened, I have been chosen to be an exchange student for some Copper-Black cross academy in Europe, suspicious, very suspicious, but the brochure of that school seems normal so I had to go. My new family was very excited for me which is also the reason why I can't turn it down.

**Time skip, Arrival at Copper-Black Cross Academy**

The academy was very very large, the school was separated into two sections. My guess is that, the half portion is for magical gifted students, and the barrier separating the buildings was sure a big clue.

The classes on the normal side we're pretty good, I have gotten enough free time to set up barrier seals on the normal side of the school because I'm paranoid.

Yeah, my paranoia was really helpful, a week after I got settled in, a powerful stray spell escaped from the magical side and headed to the normal building.

Instead of having civilian casualties and a destroyed building, all were surprised at the sudden appearance of the barrier which the spell collided making a huge explosion, surprisingly, my barrier seal was still standing strong which surprised the magical students and teachers.

The incident was avoided without casualty, I didn't expect to be called to the headmaster's office and I got news that I was to be transferred to the special side of the school.

Gah, I severely underestimated the hime-miko's of this world for them to link me to the barrier incident, oh no, this scenario was the last thing on my mind.

Sometime later I was introduced in the first year class 3 of the Special Copper-Black Cross academy.

"Hello everyone, we have a new exchange student from Japan, please welcome Recca Kusanagi." Said the teacher.

"Hello everyone, my name is Recca Kusanagi, please treat me well." I said in a perfect english accent.

I was shown to my seat, and the class began with histories lessons and Campione.

Everyone is very sports oriented, my own physique is only about a High chunnin taijutsu level, it must have increased a couple of notches since I became a campione.

The school was buzzing that day, we were having a surprise visit from one of the campione, namely one Salvatore Doni.

Doni was having a spar with the advantage students, he creamed and beat them to submission though.

Doni was giddy and excited throughout the whole time, it was as if he was expecting something like an exciting challenge.

I walked away after having seen 3 minutes of his sparring session. I went to an abandoned toolshed which I applied if I could use it, the paperwork for my usage of the toolshed was approved some days ago and I was able to redecorate the inside like Japanese royalty.

Of course nobody has seen the inside of my shed, I even used space expanding seals. I of course did not forget my locking seals which prevents normal students from trespassing on my abode.

I was cooking myself a little feast inside my shed (lavish japanese style room), when I had an unexpected visitor. Salvatore Doni broke through my locking seals, damn campione and their high magic resistance.

"Quick, hide me, I'm escaping from my fans." was what he said.

"Yeah, yeah, bother someone else, you may stay here if you behave, this shed has an auto repair lock seals, so the ones you broke must have repaired by now." I said to him.

"Phew, thanks, hmmmm, this room looks pretty nice, are you some kind of a super secret club member?." Asked Doni.

"No, I simply asked if I could use this rundown shed, it got approved and I did some repairs and modification, Jeez, stop drooling, you can join me for a snack." I said to Doni.

"Thank you, thank you, Itadakimasu!." Said Doni as he stuffed himself.

"geeeeeeeeeeeeee." said Doni as he stared into me intently.

"What?, is there something on my face?." I said to him.

"geeeeeeeeeeeeee." was still Doni's response.

"Your creeping me out now." I said to him.

"Suspicious, your very suspicious, for some reason, there's something off about you." Said Doni.

"Oh sure, blame the nice guy who fed you and hid you from fan boys, just for that (clap, clap)." I clapped my hands and triggered my seal defense and transports intruders outside.

"Doni-sama!." Were what Doni's fans said before he started running again.

Later that evening I was called to the head masters office and a smiling Doni was there.

"Congratulations Recca Kusanagi, you have been chosen as Campione Doni's personal guard." Said the headmaster with a straight face.

"I'm sorry?, where did this come from?, I'm pretty sure that there are some pretty more advanced students suitable for the job." I said to them.

"There are, they are also die hard fans and has a hero worship over me, but not you judging by our short encounter." Doni said with a smile.

"Really, can't you just chuck an unlucky student for this job?." I asked them.

"We are, and that is you, you're the unlucky student." Said the headmaster while Doni was laughing.

I resigned to my fate and packed my bags, I mailed a letter to my family saying that I had been recruited by a super secret organization that is led by a moron and I could not refuse as the repercussions where severe.

This was the last mail I sent my family for the upcoming months.

* * *

**Heretic God Info: (Wiki Fact)**

Cu Chulainn

Class: Lancer

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Sex: Male

Height: 185cm

Weight: 70kg

Weapon: Armour, Spear

STR: B

CON: C

AGI: A

MGI: C

LCK: E

Noble Phantasm: B

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**Legend**

Once Ireland was called Erin, which means "green" in Gaelic. In this land named after its abundant greenery, there was a boy with great talent. His name was Sétanta. It is said that his father was the sun god Lugh and his mother was royalty. One day, he accidentally killed the guard dog protecting the house of master blacksmith Culann. Sétanta alone strangled to death "Culann's savage dog" that was well-known to have the strength of ten men. In order to compensate for this deed, for a while he himself would carry out the duties of a guard dog. Consequently, all began to call the boy "Culann's savage dog" i.e. Cú Chulainn.

In time, the grown Cú Chulainn was accepted as a member of the famous Akaeda Knights. His actions after that rendered him unmatched. He went to the "Land of Shadows" to fulfill his own love; there with incredible magic and unrivaled demonic spearmanship, he acquired Gáe Bolg. Cú Chulainn had become invincible but the sun still set. At a young age, a close Druid's prophecy said "in exchange for glorious deeds of valor, his life would be short" and accepting such a fate, he smiled and laughed.

In his final battle Cú Chulainn battled furiously and died pierced by his own magical spear. A crow landed on the shoulder of his standing corpse in his death. It is said that it was the incarnation of the witch Morrigan who continued to give him her unrequited love.

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**Class Abilities:**

**Magic Resistance: C**

Cú Chulainn holds a Magic Resistance of Rank C. Aria of two verses and below are cancelled, but beyond that High Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals cannot even be defended against. That said, confronting a Servant of his superior speed (Agility A), finding the opportunity to use large-scale magecraft is next to impossible. Also, considerable skill is required to successfully "hit" him with the invoked magecraft. Judging from these factors, in situations of close combat, Cú Chulainn may have a "necessary and sufficient" rank of Magic Resistance.

In addition, as depicted in legend, he himself learned magecraft (18 Original Runes) in the "Land of Shadows", taking pride in having the skill and knowledge to qualify for Caster class. Even in a scene of the story, he sees through the presence of Medusa's Blood Fort Andromeda at a glance, considers the situation, and makes the decision not to destroy it. Cú Chulainn is not just a reckless warrior.

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**Personal Abilities:**

**Battle Continuation: A**

Legend tells that the dying Cú Chulainn tied himself to a tree before taking his last breath. For he who possesses such a legend, the dying struggle is particularly fierce. Even in a hopeless battle, Cú Chulainn was still able to demonstrate astonishing tenacity, delaying Gilgamesh for half a day.

Against Emiya who dextrously fended off his spear thrusts, Cú Chulainn countered with an unyielding fighting spirit.

**Disengage: C**

The ability to withdraw from the battlefield in the midst of combat. Having been commanded to go on reconnaissance missions by his Master Kotomine, it can be said that this ability was fully demonstrated. From the start, Cú Chulainn excelled in seeing through battle situations, and had the responsibility to wage war and withdraw repeatedly from all the Servants.

**Runes: B**

Cú Chulainn obtained 18 Runes from his studies with Scáthach (Norse Runes), appropriately using them to respond in different situations. It is said that among these runes, one with the purpose of searching existed. It was the ability that supported his elusive actions during the Holy Grail War.

**Protection from Arrows: B**

Ability to deal with projectiles. This is a power Cu Chulainn was born with. It's said that it's possible for him to avoid any long range attack if he has made visual confirmation of his opponent. He can deal with most projectiles even in conditions where the opponent cannot be visually seen. Even if the battle with Hasan Sabbaha, he cancelled the throwing swords hurled from the darkness. As long as the attack is a thrown type, he can avoid even Noble Phantasms, but he can't gain the effects of this protection with respect to wide range attack types where the attack range of the weapon explodes on impact, or a direct attack by a weapon that has simply long reach.

**Divinity: B**

The circumstances behind Cú Chulainn's great divinity is his father's existence. His father was Lugh, the god who governed over the sun, a member of the Danann divine family in Celtic Mythology. As a demigod whose father was an almighty god who possessed every skill such as knowledge, techniques and magic, and whose mother was Deichtine, younger sister of King Conchobar, he exhibited superior talent from birth. Boasting supernatural ability that separated him from ordinary people from a young age, in his training in the Land of Shadows, he received the original runes and terrible magic spear Gaé Bolg from Scáthach. Truly, he was a man predestined to become a hero. In Ireland, poetry and statues praising Cú Chulainn still remain to this day.

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**Noble Phantasm**

Gáe Bolg: Spear of Piercing Barbed Death

Rank: B

Type: Anti-Unit

Range: 2~4

Maximum targets: 1

While this is a technique employing Gáe Bolg as a melee attack, it is originally a magic spear for throwing. With a technique that reverses the meaning of "cause and effect" in the order of things, the "result" that "the heart of the opponent has been pierced" is created earlier than the moment it is thrust. Accordingly, the "cause" that "the lance has pierced through the heart" is generated from it later. Without a great deal of luck (like Altria), it can be said that this is a technique that determines "if it is released, the opponent is dead." However, against Servants like Heracles who can move even when their heart is destroyed, there is a small disadvantage. Compared to the Spear of Striking Death Flight, both the range of effectiveness and the destructive power are weakened. However, it is worth mentioning that "the magical energy cost is low." For having such a strong effect as "almost certainly will destroy the enemy's heart," without the need of a terrible amount of magical power, it becomes an excellent Noble Phantasm of extraordinary usability.

* * *

**Gae Bolg: Striking Death Flight**

Rank: B+

Type: Anti-Army

Range: 5~40

Maximum Targets: 50 People

The largest and most powerful attack delivered using Gae Bolg. The "attack that unleashes countless darts at the enemy" which legends speak of is Gae Bolg – Striking Death Flight. After accelerating through an approach run, Cú Chulainn takes to the skies and activates Striking Death Flight by hurling it towards the ground with all his might.

Different from Gae Bolg – Piercing Death Thorn, Striking Death Flight does not carry the property or concept of "always pierces the opponent's heart", but compared to Piercing Death Thorn, both power and area of effect are increased (intense consumption of Magic Energy). It is a technique that attacks the enemies together with the surrounding area, in a carpet bombing fashion. Even resilient bulwark or agile body are not immune to the power of Striking Death Flight; Gae Bolg will send the enemy horde flying. In legend, the demonic spear is said to split into 30 and pour down over the enemy, but it seems the number has increased after Cú Chulainn became a Heroic Spirit. During the battle with Emiya, Emiya spoke of Striking Death Flight "exceeding the original, Gungnir – Declaration of the Great God".

* * *

**Recca Kusanagi's Authorities:**

**Gáe Bolg chant:**

"Come to me, O cursed spear and deliver judgement upon my foes."

* * *

**©Noble Phantasm**

**Gáe Bolg: Spear of Piercing Barbed Death**

Rank: B

Type: Anti-Unit

Range: 2~4

Maximum targets: 1

* * *

**Gae Bolg: Striking Death Flight**

Rank: B+

Type: Anti-Army

Range: 5~40

Maximum Targets: 50 People


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing , this is purely a fanfic for enjoyment. Cross-over from various games , books, anime, manga, and movies. The familiar characters you see here belongs to their respected authors and owners.

* * *

**An:** I did not expect to have the next chapter done this early, this kinda just lead there, surprisingly, the plot is quite good for an AU.

* * *

**Recca's POV:**

Life just turned into depressing lately, Doni was always looking for trouble and heretic Gods. His personal guard were sometimes forced to stay in the city for his soul searching.

I was treated with animosity and pity at the same time. Animosity since I managed to gain a membership of Doni's personal guard. Pity because I wasn't able to escape his evil clutches to those who really knew Doni.

I was treated like a mascot which was fine with me while Doni's personal guard slew some familiar. We seem to have located a Heretic God, a very powerful one at that.

Our Hime-miko divined it's identity.

* * *

**Medea** (メデイア, ?), an unfortunate princess who was labeled as a witch in Greek mythology. She was the princess of Colchis who possessed the Golden Fleece. Her father, King Aeëtes of Colchis, excelled at magic, and as his daughter, she was also practiced in such ways. Her personality at the time was far from what would be called a witch, and her fate became confounded after the hero famous from the Argo Expedition, Jason, appeared before her.

* * *

With her dragontooth warrior familiars (seletal looking familiar) she was able to keep the troops and the grunts busy, while she was fighting both Doni and Voban which shows her strength.

Still even with both campione having a 3 way fight with Meadea, she is still very formidable. With her High-Speed Divine Words, she was throwing powerful spells left and right.

Then hell rained and fell on us.

Medea used her main offensive spell is **Rain of Light** (光弾雨, Koudanu?), which is a volley of rapidly fired beams of light each with an A rank power of attack. Each beam is a deadly spell on the level of High Thaumaturgy with three times Shirou's entire amount of prana, capable of destroying the body of a Servant with a direct hit. Just the use of one single beam would normally require a magic circle, ten count aria, and one minute of casting for a normal magus, and still thirty seconds with a High-Speed Aria. Caster's Divine Words allow her to shoot them in rapid succession without any preparation after simply targeting the enemy with her wand. She can fire them without pause when she has a supply of stored prana, and the result is something that resembles a bombing raid that leaves the ground scorching red.(Wiki)

Doni and Voban was forced on the defensive and retreated afterwards due to the very powerful attack that scroched the lands that was caused by Medea.

I was hiding beyond the whole fight, surprisingly, the safest place at the town was located in her (Medea's) stronghold which I entered using seals.

I was very surprised when a powerful entity came back to this place and I began to escape from the enemy stronghold, while I took out my Gae Bolg just in case something happened.

I was very careful on my escape, unfortunately, Medea felt my slowly moving mana signature and transported herself in front of me. She really misinterpreted the situation and deemed me not a threat due to my seals, which was unfortunate for her. So when Medea transported herself in front of me, she was greeted by a surprising sight.

**"Gae Bolg!."** I shouted as I was startled by the sudden figures appearance.

Medea was confused, she heard a familiar weapon name that was of a divine authority.

**"Shit!."** She said as only then she knew her folly and walked into a trap. The man in front of her just ran away after using a divine authority leaving her no options to counterattack for revenge. She even tried to heal herself with magic but it wasn't working due to the divine weapons curse. So with an unfortunate scenario, Medea the Heretic God was slain in an unfortunate of circumstances.

I was now on a boat heading back to Japan, and I took the scenic route. _"Surely me missing in that attack would not be unnatural"._ I thought myself as it was my chance to be free from Doni.

While I was in my room, I felt a sudden sensation of a new authority wishing to burst forth, I didn't notice that I was muttering the spell words for that authority.

**"Dispel! no magic may stand before thine vengeance!."** I said as a jagged dagger was in my hands, then it's information flowed into me.

* * *

**Rule Breaker: All Spells Must Be Broken** ( 破戒すべき全ての符ルールブレイカー , also translated as Destroyer of All Talismans?) is a weapon that materializes the divinity of the witch of betrayal. It is a iridescent and jagged dagger that is thin, brittle, and blunt. Its effectively nonexistent capacity as a weapon is that of a regular dagger at most, and it would not be suitable for even killing a single person.

Greatly differing from other Noble Phantasms, its unique ability is that it is the ultimate anti-magic Noble Phantasm capable of dispelling and destroying any kind of thaumaturgy, an effect suitable to the Noble Phantasm that is a manifestation of Caster's nature as the "Witch of Betrayal". It "transgresses" on all the magecraft of the targets it pierces, contracts made from magical energy and life born from magical energy. Once it comes into contact with the ensorcelled item or person, enchantments, connections bounded through contracts, and creatures created and maintained by prana will all be returned to their original components in a state "before they were made." Contracts will be wiped clean and those with life will immediately cease to exist. There is a limit to what it is able to dispel, meaning artifacts on the rank of Noble Phantasm will never be returned to their original state no matter how low their rank.

* * *

Feeling fascinated by the weapon, I stared at it for ten minutes and dismissed my authority.

After a few days of scenic traveling, I finally arrive in Japan and quickly rode a cab home.

My house was just a few meters away. I took a deep breath and knocked the door. I was greeted by grandpa Ichirou which surprised him as I suddenly went off grid.

"Recca?, your alive?, I thought a super secret organization took you?." Asked the concerned Ichirou

"I was, I just recently escaped from their evil clutches using illegal and questionable methods, mainly faking my death." I answered honestly.

Ichirou just sweatdropped and welcomed me in.

I was shown to the living room with Godou's new friend was supposed to be.

I was shocked at what I saw, Godou has 3 women beside him. (Mariya Yuri, Erica Blandelli, Lilliana Kranjcar)

On the other side was a face I did not expect to find.

"Oh no, the great almighty moron is here, and Godou has a harem?, I better get back to my room and rest, I must be hallucinating." I said as I left to my room and rested.

"You!, your the one that brother mentioned in his letter that he was forced to join a secret organization led by a moron?." Godou asked Doni.

"How mean, he was a really good Mascot who went missing after me and Voban were fighting a powerful Heretic God and we were forced to retreat, he went missing during that time." Said Doni.

"I don't blame him, he took a chance to be away from you and he found you in his house today must be a shock, ahh, thankfully hes related to Godou so as a Campione, he is under Godou's protection." Said Erica.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Erica-chan, he is after all my beloved cute mascot." Said Doni threatingly.

Godou was about to fight Doni to a full force but his thoughts were interrupted when Doni's neck was suddenly pinned down by a red malevolent spear.

"Oh?, I didn't know I was someone's property Mr. Doni, if this is how it works then I'm afraid I have to retaliate in kind." I said to Doni as I pinned his neck by 'Gae Bolg'.

"Its not nice to anger the big boys my cute mascot." Doni said as he pushed away the spear forcefully and injuring both his hands, he must thought it was an ordinary spear.

"I see, I see, you must be confident that you can brush off my spear like that with your bare hands bleeding, hmmm I see, I hope you can afford bleeding to death." I smiled as I used my teleport seal in a safehouse somewhere I prepared beforehand.

"What did he mean by that?." Asked the confused Godou.

"Ara?, the bleeding in my hands won't stop and it's bleeding quite alot, it should have healed by my natural healing by now." Said Doni as he examined his hands curiously.

"Yuri, can you please use your miko powers to unravel the mystery in that wound?." Said Erica.

"Hai." Was Yuri's response before she went into shock.

"What is it Yuri?." asked the concerned Godou.

"I'm afraid that the spear Godou's brother used is cursed and won't heal untill the weilder wills it, that's not all, that spear is known as 'Gae Bolg' belonging to the hound of Cullan 'Cú Chulainn', a heretic god's weapon." Said Yuri in shock.

"Aww, does that mean, my wounds won't heal?." Doni whined.

"Worse fool, you have angered an unknown Campione who hates you." Said Yuri with concern.

"Godou's brother is also a campione?, **WHAT!?.**" Most of them said in shock.

* * *

**Heretic God: (Wiki Info)**

Medea

Class: Caster

Alignment: Neutral Evil

Sex: Female

Height: 163cm

Weight: 51kg

Weapon: None

STR: E

CON: D

AGI: C

MGI: A+

LCK: B

Noble Phantasm: C

* * *

**Class Abilities**

Territory Creation: A

Item Construction: A

* * *

**Personal Skills**

High-Speed Divine Words: A

Golden Fleece: EX

* * *

**Magecraft**

Magecraft Tool

Dragon Tooth Warriors

* * *

**Noble Phantasm**

Rule Breaker:

Rank: C

Type: Anti-Thaumaturgy Noble Phantasm

Range: 1

A noble phantasm with an ability quite different from the noble phantasms held by other Servants. Its capacity as a weapon is effectively nonexistant. However, it is capable of "transgressing" on all the magecraft of the targets it pierces. Targets it can transgress on are contracts made with magical energy, and life born from magical energy. They will be reset to the state before the magical energy was used. That is to say, contracts made with magical energy will be wiped clean, and life born from magical energy will immediately cease to exist. Therefore, even though its uses are rather limited, in the Grail War (which contains the Servant System) its effectiveness is high.

In fact, using this noble phantasm Medea was able to cut the contracts of Servants serving other Masters. Artoria and Emiya both served as her Servants temporarily.

* * *

**Recca's New Authority:**

**Rule breaker authority chant:**

"Dispel! no magic may stand before thine vengeance!" (Thanks to PChesire, much better than mine.)

* * *

**Noble phantasm**

Rule Breaker:

Rank: C

Type: Anti-Thaumaturgy Noble Phantasm

Range: 1


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing , this is purely a fanfic for enjoyment. Cross-over from various games , books, anime, manga, and movies. The familiar characters you see here belongs to their respected authors and owners.

* * *

**An:** Ehh?, I'm updating again?, well I hope my stream of ideas don't run out soon. Can you guess what Heretic God Recca fought this chapter?, I surprisingly chose an obscure one and its unexpected.

* * *

**Recca's POV:**

During my week of hiding, I met a cute girl with white hair and violet eyes. She dresses with a frilly black clothes like she was royalty, she called herself Alice.

"You know, you almost sound like Alice in wonderland from the fairy tale." I said to her jokingly in one of our afternoon chats.

"Ehh?, I didn't know my cover as a Heretic God is blown this early, now I'll force you to play with me, Mr. Recca, teehee." was all she said before she cast some sort of Authority.

**"Birds are just birds here. People are just people here. Welcome to Alice's tea party."** Alice said her aria happily as I was now in a forest straight from Alice in wonderland.

"Welcome to my world mister, where you will slowly forget what you are, remember your name or risk disappearing, also do be careful, my trump soldiers are running around." She said as she giggled.

* * *

**Trump Soldiers** (トランプ兵, ?), spear-wielding card soldiers from Alice in Wonderland, can be created. She can bring about an army of forty, and though their combat ability is low, they are almost invincible due to Alice providing regenerative powers.

* * *

_"I was slowly forgetting who I was, Damn, I wish I could just break away from this place."_ I thought bitterly.

"That's it." I said triumphantly as I said these spell words.

**"Dispel! no magic may stand before thine vengeance!."**I said as Rule breaker appeared in my hand and I stabbed myself, regaining my memories.

"Well since this place is one giant spell, why not." I said as I stabbed Rule breaker on the ground destroying this nameless forest authority.

"You're no fun mister, wanna play with my pet Jabberwocky?, drat, I guess I used too much mana on my last ability I casted, whatever, I still hold this trump card." She said as she smiled as she said an Aria.

**"The story will go on forever.**

**(As long as) the slender fingers return to the first page,**

**As if picking up the next volume.**

**Once again denying reality to the reader."** She said her spell words.

**"Maiden's Empire!."** She shouted as our surroundings shifted again into what it seems like a broken kingdom hearts movie, then the world turned black with a puff of feathers, finally a string of slashes were striked everywhere, the spell seemingly wore off and the world turned back to normal.

"Geh!, what a powerful attack, miss Alice." I said to her while I healed my wounds with medical ninjutsu.

"Hehehehe, oh it's not over mister, if you don't defeat me in a set amount of time, my health will just recover, allowing us to play forever." She said in a sing song voice.

"Oh no." I said in horror.

"Oh, yes." Alice replied as she giggled.

I quickly unsealed my battle clones at her, surprisingly, she was light on her feet, she used spells The Plains of Winter (冬の野の白き時, ?), an ice attack spell, Frenzied March Hare (三月兎の狂乱, ?), a wind attack spell, and White Queen's Enigma (白の女王様のなぞなぞ, ?), an enchantment that lowers the enemy's magic resistance when she makes certain strikes against my clones.

We were fighting on equal terms untill I used a flashbang seal, I used the opening and attached some gravity and energy absorption seals.

The battle was in my favor now, but I was still at a time limit, I damaged her enough using my battle puppet clones, so I called forth my cursed spear to deliver the finishing blow.

**"Gae Bolg!."** I said as I threw my spear and it homed into Alice's heart.

"Well done mister, you sure know how to play a fun game, what is a game without it's rewards, since you played with me and endured my trials as well as making me enjoy our play date more thoroughly, I give you all my authorities, don't spend it in one place you hear." She said as she vanished into golden particles.

"Don't spend it in one place." I laughed at her pun.

I quickly returned to my hideout and rested.

"What a weird day." I said as I fell asleep.

That night I dreamed of my new authorities.

**"The story will go on forever.**

**(As long as) the slender fingers return to the first page,**

**As if picking up the next volume.**

**Once again denying reality to the reader."**

**"Maiden's Empire!."** Is the Aria chant for Maidens Empire authority, I still remember how Alice casted it or whatever her real name, hmmm, that's strange, I defeated a God without unraveling her nature, there's no God named Alice, is there?.

* * *

**The Queen's Glass Game: Perpetual Engine - Maiden Empire** ( 永久機関・少女帝国クイーンズ・グラスゲーム , Eikyuukikan Shoujo Teikoku?), also known as **Maxwell's Demon - Maiden's Empire: Queens Glass Game** in the English localization, is an Anti-World Noble Phantasm used by Caster. The ultimate manifestation of Alice's dream. It winds back the battle to the first turn upon its activation, meaning that the girls' game will continue forever if they are not defeated by a set turn/time.

* * *

**"And as in uffish thought he stood,**

**The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,**

**Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,**

**And burbled as it came!**

**One, two! One, two! and through and through**

**The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!**

**He left it dead, and with its head**

**He went galumphing back."** Is the Aria for summoning Jabberwock as I dreamed it's monstrous form, he surprising looks like a digital ifrit(final fantasy 8) with wings.

* * *

Alice can summon the **Jabberwock** (ジャバウォック, ?), a being she calls a "friend" that is greater in power than Servants. It is initially believed to be a powerful divine beast of Alice, and it has an overwhelming presence. Its strength shakes the Arena itself, and simply nearing it allows for its fierce, swirling magical power to be felt. It can overwhelmingly defeat low level Heretic Gods, and it will stay until its granted prana/mana is depleted.

It can only be defeated by the **Vorpal Blade**, a "blade of legend that no one has ever seen", a Mystic Code weapon that has an effect on certain types of monstrosities. It is from the poem Jabberwocky by Lewis Carrol, depicting a nameless hero's quest to slay the fearsome beast. It is not something found normally. It uses a skill called Alice Eater, to temporarily strengthen itself.

* * *

I have already felt and known the effects of the nameless forest first hand it's hard to believe that nameless forest and Jaberwock stems from one authority how frightening. I felt the information about my authority surface, along with the nameless forest authority.

* * *

**Nursery Rhyme: A Story For Somebody's Sake** ( 誰かの為の物語ナーサリー・ライム , Dare ka no Tame no Monogatari?) is a Noble Phantasm possessed by Alice. It is a Reality Marble, her nature of reflecting her desires upon herself through the Perpetual Engine relic. Alice has great interest in nursery rhymes, so she takes on that form.

* * *

**"Birds are just birds here. People are just people here. Welcome to Alice's tea party."** Spell words for casting the authority.

**Nameless Forest** (名無しの森, Nanashi no Mori?) is a Reality Marble generated as a "playground" for Alice. Modeled after a forest, it is "Alice's tea party" where none can remember their names. It slowly chips away at the target's ego in order by influencing their unconscious mind to cause them to disappear. They first forget their name, forget who they are, and then begin to fade away until their body completely disappears. Attempting to retrieve information like their identity or the names of others from their memory does not work, feeling a disturbance like slipping against smooth stone. Alice appear unaffected by its abilities. Can also summon up to 40 trump soldiers while using this ability.

* * *

I feel like Doni served his lesson so I willed the curse of Gae Bolg to stop, and went to the Kusanagi residence again.

I knocked and I was surprised on who greeted me.

"Recca?, your back?, so uhh, since when did you became a campione?, and um, would it be possible to heal Doni?, it really might cause an international scandal on the magical world." Godou said as he scratched his head.

"Umm yeah, I already undid the curse yesterday, so uhh, you became a campione too, hmm, I was trying to hide my identity as one really, being normal is great if you ask me." I said Honestly.

"Yeah, my life was peaceful before being turned into a Campione, now, I have strange girls popping in my life and I seem to have attracted Voban as an enemy, Doni is just annoying, come in, let's continue in the living room." Godou said as he led me yo the living room.

"So, you're telling that the school you exchanged into has a magical side and due to some incident, you got transfered there where you met Doni and you somehow made an impression on him resulting in him abducting you to be his mascot?." Said Godou in a deadpan voice.

"Yes, during one of our travels, we encountered a heretic God that went toe to toe with Doni and Voban, it's there where I faked my death and came here where the situation exploded out of proportions." I explained to Godou.

"Still, now that your cover as a Campione is exposed, what are you going to do?." Asked Godou seriously.

"Oh my, maybe live the rest of my life as a hermit?, nahh, I'll die of boredom, ahh, I'll just hide, yes away from shady organizations and shady women." I said with determination.

Godou just sweatdropped at my response.

"Really?, but you have a responsibility now otou-to, you can't let those evil Gods and Campione roaming around." Godou said in a sincere tone.

"Geh, didn't expect my brother to guilt trip me, sigh, I guess a campione is still a campione, hmm, on second thought I'll just hide." I said as my cowardly nature popped up.

"I won't let you hide, my dear brother, oh no, I'm not suffering alone fighting overpowered God's, I finally have someone to relate too and I'm not letting you slip away." Godou said as he smiled evilly.

"So..., I can't just hide behind your name and shadow?." I asked him with puppy dog eyes which disturbed him.

"That was before we found out that you were a campione, hehehehe, I can finally dump half of my enemies to you." said the laughing Godou.

"Mou, nii-chan is evil." I said as I pouted.

"Oh, just tough it out, just do what you did to Doni, Strike then ran-way, scratch that, there are civilians involved, so that plan is a bust." Explained Godou.

"Yeah, it's not like a magic association pop's up and offers me to be the their representative." I said jokingly.

"On the contrary Mr. Recca, the Witenagemot of Greenwich would like you to be our representative, by the way I am pricess Alice." Said the astral form of Alice.

"Geeeeeeeee." I stared into Alice for five minutes.

"What is it Mr. Recca?, are you interested in me?." Alice asked shyly which snapped me back to reality.

"I'm sorry miss Alice, it's just, I met a Heretic God who called herself Alice, she was very powerful and I barely won against her, your resemblance is quite close, pardon this man's crazy ramblings." I said to Alice.

"Hoh?, how many Heretic God's did you slay, otou-to?." Asked Godou curiously.

"I'm curious as well, Mr. Recca." Said Princess Alice.

"Oh not much, just three, I'm sure there are others with more authorities than mine, hold it, no need to divulge your authorities to me, it could mean life and death in the future." I said to Godou sternly.

"You are surprisingly perceptive Mr. Recca, which means our decision is right, you'll accept won't you." Princess Alice said with her puppy dog eyes which was way, way superior than mine.

"Alright, I agree, but doesn't the campione Black Alec rules England?." I said concerned.

"Oh, that selfish brute can crawl in a hole for all I care, besides I'm sure sure Mr. Recca will protect us." Princess Alice smiled as she dragged me outside in her Astral form.

_"Astral form can carry heavy objects?."_ I thought as I looked at Goudou pleadingly to save me from being manhandled.

Goody just waved and smiled at me.

_"Why Godou?, Why?, why did you abandon your cute baby brother in his time of need."_ I thought miserable as I was driven away by a limo.

**Later at Godou's residence.**

"Ding, Dong!." A doorbell rang and Godou answered.

"Hello again Godou, is your brother around?, the History Compilation Committee would like to extend him the same courtesy as you." Said Amakasu Touma.

"Your late, the Witenagemot already took him, he was whipped by Princess Alice." Godou laughed as he remember the scene.

"Drat, someone got to him first, oh, and Mr. Godou, your hardly one to criticize with all the ladies you sorround yourself with." Said Touma as he adjusted his glasses and left the scene, leaving a gaping and shocked Godou who realized that Touma was right.

_"Geh, Touma was right, I am also whipped from three sides, I just hope it does not increase, I'm not sure I can handle any more girls."_ Goudou thought about his situation.

Little did Godou know that his Harem will increase in the future.

* * *

**Heretic God:** (Wiki)

Identity: Nursery Rhyme

Gender: Undefined

Height, Weight: Undefined

Alignment：Undefined

Strength: D~E

Endurance: D~E

Agility: D~E

Mana: D~E

Luck: D~E

Noble Phantasm: EX

* * *

**Class Skills**

Territory Creation: A

* * *

**Personal skills**

Shapeshift: A+

Self-Modification: A

* * *

**Noble Phantasm:**

**The Queen's Glass Game**

Rank: C

Type: Anti-Unit (self)

Range:0

Maximum number of targets: 1 person

* * *

**Nursery Rhyme: A Story For Somebody's Sake**

Rank: EX

Type: Anti-Unit

Range:0

Maximum number of targets: 1 person

* * *

**Recca's New Authorities:**

**The Queen's Glass Game**

Rank: C

Type: Anti-Unit (self)

Range:0

Maximum number of targets: 1 person

* * *

**Nursery Rhyme: A Story For Somebody's Sake**

Rank: EX

Type: Anti-Unit

Range:0

Maximum number of targets: 1 person


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing , this is purely a fanfic for enjoyment. Cross-over from various games , books, anime, manga, and movies. The familiar characters you see here belongs to their respected authors and owners.

* * *

**Recca's POV:**

Getting manhandled is scary, especially by a cute astralized princess. I was now in plane headed to Europe in a private jet. I was having a question and answer with Alice.

"Hey Alice how is the weather in Europe.?" I asked Alice.

Alice then turned me and said "Oh it's quite...Recca?, where did you go?." was what she said in a concerned voice.

**Somewhere in Tanazuki Gai**

"Kukuku, how sad that you betrayed me Tsunade, I could have resurrected your loved ones." Said Orochimaru.

"Deep down inside, I knew, that what you will brought back isn't really my loved ones, **Kuchiyose no jutsu!.**" Said Tsunade as there was a puff of smoke where a giant slug (Katsuya) was summoned.

"Kabuto." Ordered Orochimaru as Kabuto placed Orochimaru's hands into position and poured some blood on the seals and activated a jutsu.

**"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!."** Said Kabuto and a giant violet giant snake appeared.

"You owe me 200 sacrifices this time Orochimaru." Said Manda as he looked at Katsuya.

"Yes, Manda-sama, I will provide the sacrifice." Said Orochimaru to Manda.

"Very well." Said Manda as he attacked Katsuya.

Naruto at the sidelines knew the technique to help his Tsunade Baa-chan while Jiraiya was helping Tsunade fight off Orochimaru and Kabuto.

Naruto formed a familiar handsign, though he was mistaken on the last one but still shouted his technique.

**"Kuchiyose no jutsu!."** Naruto said as he pumped the Kyubi's chakra in that technique.

Poof there was a large smoke and as it cleared, there was a confused teen looking around.

**Recca's POV:**

I felt a strange pull and I now find myself in feudal Japan. I see a blonde teen wearing a jumpsuit wearing a confused face.

"Hmm, a blonde kid with an orange jumpsuit, next thing you know there's a giant slug and snake fighting." I said to the kid with a sarcastic voice as I rolled my eyes.

I noticed that everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me.

"What?, I was only joking... Holy smokes, a Giant snake and Giant slug fighting?, It's either I'm asleep or hallucinating, hey kid, wake me up later when I'm sane okay." I said as I took out a sleeping bag out of nowhere and slept.

Everyone just sweatdropped at my antics.

"Kukukuku, too bad Naruto-kun, you just summoned a weirdo." Said Orochimaru as he laughed very very loudly.

Suddenly a the person who Orochimaru talked about was suddenly in his face up real close.

"Shh!, quite, this dream is quite realistic, who knew I would meet a Kabuki actor, now quiet please." I said as I attached 10 paralyze seals into the wierdo and I went to a nearby tree and brought my sleeping bag and slept.

"Kabuto, I can't move, that boob did something to me, retreat." Ordered Orochimaru as Kabuto carried him somewhere with Shunshin

The remaining people had their jaws hanging.

"Awesome, from now on, that guy is my new sensei." Said Naruto excitedly.

The group decided to wait for the mysterious individuals to wake up and waited 3 hours and fell asleep.

I woke up feeling refreshed, I can still see that I'm still dreaming, so with a heavy sigh, I unsealed my Kotetsu set and cooked yakiniku set, I know it's a strange combination but I customized this Kotetsu just for occasions.

"Mmmmm, meat is the best." I said as I took a cooked piece.

The strange people began to wake up and began drooling at the food and sake at the table.

"Ehh?, stop staring and join in, a happy dream is a good dream." I said and Shizune, Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Naruto joined in even if man has a loose screw in the head.

"So young man, are you a ninja?." Asked Jiraiya.

"Egad! no, they are so frightening with their jutsu that could squish me under a rug, no sir, I am but a humble civilian and I guess I own a small seals shop." I said as popped up some gravity seals and paralyze seal.

"Still, a beginner, but I'll take where the wind takes me." I said as I continued eating.

"Quite an ingenious seal design, are you an uzumaki?, they seem based on that?." Jiraiya now asked curiously.

"Me, an Uzumaki?, nahh, although it is a great clan, I apprenticed with someone who had obtain some Uzumaki manual seals, the thing is, My master never told me anything so I just copied and, taddaa." I explained which seem to calm Jiraiya down.

"Would you like to go to Konoha with us?, I'm sure you can set-up shop there." Jiraiya offered.

"I'm not sure, I was originally going to try my luck outside the elemental nation Barrier, but there are still some sight seeing left to see." I said as I sipped my tea.

"How about you come with me and my apprentice on a training trip, I could train you how to defend yourself, what do you say, want to be a ninja.?" Jiraiya asked in a sing song voice, someone to dump naruto with.

"What?, ero-sennin are you sure he's strong enough?, he's quite old, and he might slow us down." Said Naruto as he changed his tune.

"Hmm, pardon me for this." I said as I send a tendrils of chakra string to Naruto and made him punch himself.

Everyone looked shocked at what happened.

"I picked up some interesting in Suna." I said them and took a meat.

"I see, I see, it is now even more prudent that you come with us, I'll surely make it worth your time." Jiraiya said as he whispered something into me and made a perverse giggle.

That right there convinced me that this wasn't a dream.

I was sold, Jiraiya was teaching me his ways on how to please a woman, this guy is loaded with experience despite his many stumbles for his research.

Olala, ohh he gave me some pointers already which I took a notepad and had it written, certain tenketsu points you press to make a woman scream, subtle use of the motion of the rasengan at a certain spot.

Since I don't know the rasengan I had to be creative with my chakra strings.

**Time Skip 3 years.**

It's been that long already?, I sure have been blessed.

Jiraiya took me to his research often, for some reason, I had very great luck and somehow, the women swoon all over me including Jiraiya.

He taught me the secret ways of the pervy ninjutsu, control the flow of chakra at your reproductive organ so you can last longer and can shoot a few extra rounds of ahem*, you get what I mean.

Strategy, tactics, making a woman swoon to your tune is a different ball game.

He also didn't forget our supposed ninja training, I of course was unmotivated, but then Jiraiya explained the few extra boost of stamina in bed which made my tune turn a 180, I even went toe to toe with Naruto and his godly stamina, he surely will be a monster when he grows up.

Since Jiraiya just taught us the basics and experience, I had to satisfy Naruto's whining with seal lessons, he was surprisingly a genius at it and by the end of our 3 year training I estimate him to be a seal master.

Jiraiya felt guilty that he wasn't able to teach me a jutsu and asked me if there was a jutsu I would like to learn, I smiled full blast and asked for him to teach me the Hari Jizo.

Jiraiya was surprised that out of all the powerful jutsu I could have learnt, it was that jutsu that I chose, he quickly dismissed it as an Idol worship and he giggled perversely before starting the lesson.

Naruto was now leaps and bound stronger and he seems to control the Kagebunshin well. I decided to surprise him with my own Kagebunshin seal which shocked him to his core. On second thought it was a really really bad Idea as I was now forced to be his training partner. Maito Guy's training had nothing on this.

Naruto over the years have gotten close to me and now call me ero-niisan or ero-aniki which I always explained to him that I am mentally enlightened which always makes him and and Jiraiya looks at me funny and said "Hmm, thats a new word for pervert now?, wow, how eloquent." was what he said to which I replied, "oh yee of little faith, a super pervert you maybe, but the heart of a woman is complicated." I said to him which he just laughed.

"You know, we might have to call you the next generation super pervert, that's it, I name you my super pervert successor." Jiraiya said.

I was so mad that I threw a book I was working on him, a perverted book.

"Well well, what do we have here?, "Chef Paradise?", hmmm, hmmm, ohhh, I seee, ahhhh, what?." Was Jiraiya said while he continued reading.

"I have taught you well my student." Jiraiya giggled perversely as he handed me my book and gave me the good guy pose.

I looked at him shocked, the next day I looked for a publisher, I accidentally met Jiraiya's publisher's and they quickly got interested in my first work.

Time quickly flew by, I now know shunshin and how to be proper ninja even though I wasn't one.

I was now wearing durable black leather clothes which makes me look like I came from a rock concert.

I certainly don't doubt of its power to attract the ladies with my adonis like physique due to my monstrous training.

Jiraiya quickly returned us to Konoha and I was finally free and I went flirting in the dango shop, gahh Jiraiya is such a bad influence, where did my innocence go again?, bahh more flirting, no reminiscing.

Meanwhile Jiraiya reported Naruto's progress and Tsunade called for Kakashi for a test.

**Testing Grounds:**

"Why am I here again?, I'm not a ninja." I protested.

"Yeah Naruto what is a civilian doing here?." Protested Sakura.

"Don't be like that Sakura-chan, Recca nii-san is good, I can vouch for him." Said Naruto with a smile.

"Well whatever, test start!." Said Kakashi and Naruto and Sakura hid while I just took out my own published ero-book collectors edition with an autograph.

"Hello?, aren't you suppose to go into hiding?." Kakashi asked then he noticed my book he has ben eyeing.

"Is that?, where did you get the new limited edition of that book." Kakashi said as he walked up to me slowly.

Feeling Kakashi's fanboy syndrome, I just handed him the book and simultaneously took the bells.

Kakashi feeling motivated, he went all out with Naruto and Sakura, let me tell you, a motivated Kakashi is scary.

"And time, looks like you loose." Said Kakashi happily.

"Who knew Kakashi was this tough even after all my trainng." Said Naruto panting.

"There there Naruto don't feel bad, now I can go food hopping, oh yeah I found these by chance, don't know what these are for." I said as I tossed them two bells and I began to walk out of there.

"Hold it!, that's far enough, we clearly know what their levels are." Said Tsunade.

"Yes, yes, please tell them that a civilian has no business in ninja business." I said to escape their clutches.

"Your absulutely right, from now on I'm promoting one Recca Kusanagi to genin of Konoha and assign him to team 7 with Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno and their jounin Kakashi Hatake." Said Tsunade mailing.

"Your joking, I'm not ninja material, ask Sakura." I said them the least person who was sure to acknowledge me.

"Your right." Sakura said as she walked near me, then suddenly she punched a super strength through me which inflicted a crater on the ground, luckily I used substitution.

"I changed my mind, you are ninja material if you are able to dodge my suprise attack." Said Sakura smiling.

**"Noooooooo!."** I shouted as I have been inducted as a ninja.

"**Yatttaaaaa!**, nii-san is going to be on our team." Naruto said happily.

"Yes, yes, now leave me alone so I can read the next part, ooohhhh, ahhh, hmmm, what?." Said Kakashi engrosed in his new book.

"Great we have another pervert." Said Tsunade dissapointed.

"He's not just a pervert Tsunade-hime, he's a super pervert, learned from the master he did." Jiraiya said approvingly and giggling perversely.

"Who you calling a super pervert, you toad hermit, I prefer to be called enlightened." I shouted at Jiraiya.

"Well, at least he's not as troublesome as Jiraiya." Tsunade said as she began taking a swig of sake.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing , this is purely a fanfic for enjoyment. Cross-over from various games , books, anime, manga, and movies. The familiar characters you see here belongs to their respected authors and owners.

* * *

**Time Skip 5 years**

**Recca's POV:**

It has been years since I landed in the elemental nations, I encountered and experience what truly means to be ninja.

I was there when the Pian invasion happened and where Naruto trully shined and became a hero, how he convinced Nagato to revive the whole population of Konoha is a mystery.

It wasn't really long after that since Danzo died from Sasuke and the moon eye plan from Madara was revealed at the Hokage Summit.

Training to control the Kyuubi was implemented, but I still had no Idea how I got roped into that Island, I was practicing seals like no tomorrow that I could use to write my chakra infused blood as ink in battle.

Still The invasion with was still a sight to behold, countless zombies running about.

I was assigned a section of defensive station that couldn't really afford to breach. There I went to work and made the entire place a chakra gathering battery.

* * *

**Flashback:**

"Boys, give me five minutes more." I said to my group.

"Please hurry Recca-san." Said the ninja.

"There, now for the finishing touches." I said as I concentrated my authority.

* * *

"And as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back." I chanted.

* * *

**"Come Joberwocky!."** I said as a large creature formed in the battlefield.

With a roar so terrifying and with an aura that rivals a biju. It trampled and squashed the enemy forces under my command.

"Woooohhhh." The shinobi cheered for my summon.

"Everyone, my summon can hold the fort, go to where your needed, I'll see if I can help Naruto." I said to my team.

Manwhile Naruto was throwing rashenshuriken left and right, Naruto was caught in a trap and madara, revealed himself to be Obito.

"Shocking." I said as I appeared behind Obito unnoticed and applied my seals.

"Nani!?." Naruto said in surprise.

"I'm sorry your Moon eye plan ends today Obito-kun, **Dispel! no magic may stand before thine vengeance!**." As I now have my trusty dagger and I stabbed it to Obito.

All hell broke loose as the constraints that bounded the Biju inside Obito shattered. It looked like obito was about to explode so I took my chance and sliced off Obito's head and sealed it in a scroll.

I then quickly shunshined out of there as Obito's body did explode and the Biju's were out and about.

Naruto then convinced the Biju that it would be best if they were all sealed into him and they agreed.

Naruto then became the second Jinchuuriki of the Juubi and the war quickly ended.

I contacted Sakura for a transplant of the eyes that I got from Obito, she was happy to comply, we also found out that Sasuke switched on our sides after hearing the real truth of the Uchiha masacre from Itachi.

Just like that, I sported two new eyes, the EMS and the rinnegan. Still I trained for a couple of months toe to toe with Naruto on his new strength.

"Naruto, I have a confession to make, I'm leaving the elemental nations." I said to Naruto.

"Well you did say you liked travelling, I was just grateful that you were here with us during the war." Said Naruto understandingly.

I celebrated a going away party with my close friends and I used Kamui on myself.

I seem to be back in the campione universe, still I prepared earlier to seal off my energy levels.

I used my human path lightly on a member of the copper black cross and found out that this world has 11 camopione's including me, Kurusaki Ichigo who defeated Aizen, Emiya Shirou who defeated Persus and Ranma Saotome who defeated an unknown Phoenix God.

_"Great, this could lead to total disaster or total fun."_ I grinned as I thought of all the chaos I might plant. Where did my shy and cowardly personality go?, Naruto came and erased it, plus there was a war.

I quicky used Kamui on myself to get to Japan and put a challenge letter to one Ichigo Kurusaki.

* * *

Dear Ichigo Kurusaki,

This Tobi-sama wishes to challenge you, the place will be at mount fuji 3 days from now, if you refuse, I will stalk you like cockroach and find your embarrassing secrets and spread it to everyone.

Your Truly,

Tobi-Sama.

* * *

**Ichigo's POV:**

"Who the heck is this Tobi-Sama?, geh?, is that a picture of me naked?, this looks like Urahara all over again. I guess I'll see this bastard pay." Said Ichigo angrily.

**Time Skip 3 days at Mt Fuji.**

**Recca's POV:**

"Yo, prick I came here like you ask now show yourself." Shouted Ichigo.

"An opening, **Konoha Secret Taijutsu Ougi, 1,000 years of death!.**" I said as I delivered a powerful ass poke which Ichigo flew 15 meters.

"Yay, Tobi-sama got the first move." I said as I wore a copy of Akatsuki clothes and Tobi's spiral mask.

"That seriously hurt, you psycho, but you will pay, **Shatter Kyoka Suigetsu!.**" Ichigo said as he striked me and I dodged all his strikes.

"What?, but my Kyouka Suigetsu has complete hypnosis, how can you evade my strikes?." Shouted the frustrated Ichigo.

"That would be telling Orange-kun, theres nothing at my sleeves, there's nothing at my hat, oops, I have no hat, let's have a peek inside your mind, **Tsukuyomi!**."

"Hmm, looks like I went to deep, this looks like one of those rumored inner world, moohhh!." I said in fake frustration.

"Oho, looks like kingy brought in friends." said Hichigo.

Zangetsu and Kyouka Suigetsu then appeared along with Ichigo.

"Hoho, now you have done it, welcome to my inner world you bastard, get him guys." Said Ichigo smiling.

**"Nimpou Ougi: Susanoo!."** I shouted as an ethereal Giant armored samurai now formed around me blocking Ichigo's Zanpakuto's and Hollows attack.

"Round Two, **Susanoo: Tsukoyomi.**" I said as Ichigo's Inner world and turned into a blood red moon.

"What did you do to my inner world!?." Shouted Ichigo.

"Ah, ah, ah, we are now in my inner world, not yours, for the next 72 hours, I will torture you all by making you all crossdress." I said as I grinned as the fun embarrassment at the expense of Ichigo and his Zanpakuto's spirit and hollow. It only seems like Ichigo is affected and the Zanpakuto's spirit and Hichigo seemed to switch sides with me and humiliated him further.

"That's all for now Ichigo-chan, Tobi-sama had fun, thanks for such a good sport." I said as I undid my Tsukoyomi and transported myself and Ichigo to his house as he seemed passed out.

"Ohohohohohoho, who will be next on Tobi's list?." I said as transported near Europe.

"I really should get a base of operations and funds." I said as I exchanged my gold Ryo for the local currency.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing , this is purely a fanfic for enjoyment. Cross-over from various games , books, anime, manga, and movies. The familiar characters you see here belongs to their respected authors and owners.

* * *

**Recca's POV: **

After I had gotten my money converted, I decided to visit Emiya Shirou as my next prank target. I teleported myself in Shirou's mansion bypassing it's defenses.

My plan was to beat Shirou in cooking by pretending to be his apprentice. It would deal a non-lethal, but a very effective heavy blow to his pride.

**Japan, Shirou's Mansion.**

"Good evening, Mr. Shirou, pardon the intrusion, but I have come far and even risked your Ire, but I insist, please take me as your chef apprentice." I said as I kneeled to Shirou.

"Wow, I was expecting an enemy or maybe that Tobi guy that hit Ichigo, but this is unexpected, but be warned, I am a hard task master." Said Shirou.

**Chef training montage:**

Shirou took me into the mountains while instructing me to carry my heavy kitchen tools, I cheated and used a storage scroll.

Shirou was surprised and muttered "Damn magic ruining tradition."

**Time skip 2 months**

"Alright now that you have built your stamina, I want you taste each ingredient here, familiarize yourself with them by heart." Said Shirou strenly.

"Flavor it, savor it, experience it, now I can already tell you are an experienced chef, you just need to practice, and invent new recipe's and flavor." Said Shirou.

**Time Skip 3 years Later.**

I endured my harsh training, only thinking of beating Shirou at his field of experties. The countless days and nights of practice sharpened my skills gradually until one day.

"You have done well under my harsh tutelage, I now declare you, Recca, a Shiro approved quality chef, now that out of the way, who are you really?, I doubt youre here just to be my cooking apprenticeship." Shirou's eyes narrowed sharply.

"Alright you got me, I was originally here to prank you of your most damaging hobby and pride by beating you at cooking, that was I originally planned, but darn it all, you changed my view to cooking and it sparked my chef spirit to not loose to you, I tried my damn hardest, it took years of work and sleepless nights, my thoughts were only beating you and no longer that of a prank, but of a chef culinary rival, and I still could only manage to scratch the surface of the culinary art, I am proud to say that I an now proficient in the field, and I use the term loosely as we both know our league is different from normal cooking standards. As I felt myself improving, I realized that I also ignited something in you as I saw you train beyond limits and practiced like a madman in some clearing making me redouble my efforts, the gap between student and teacher became rivals and dammit I now call you my brother and comrade in arms. God, what bullshit am I spouting?." I said as I was shocked at what what I said.

"Sniff, sniff, you actually felt that way?, the truth is, I felt threatened by your tenacity, and my being the best in the field of cooking was threathened, so I trained again from the ground up, I also stopped looking at you as an apprentice but as a rival, but dammit, as our passions clashed, I felt your soul just as I'm aware you felt mine, I couldn't look at you like an enemy or rival anymore, but a brother in arms whom we understood each other through our passion in cooking, and it is there that I knew and felt there was something fishy when you asked to be my apprentice and I had to be sure." Said Shirou honestly.

"Ah yes, my plan pranking spree came to a halt with you Shirou, damn, Ichigo was so easy, but your an immovable mountain." I said to Shirou.

"You mean you're Tobi?, what did you do?, Ichigo became obsessed with you and hunted heretic god's endlessly and your right here." Shirou asked curiously.

"Oh I just crossdressed him as a girl for 3 days." I said to Shirou.

"Mahh, it's not that harsh, seriously, my new brother sure knows how to prank, now brother, since I'm still very rusty spar with me, I know your hiding your strength. **Trace on!.**" Shirou said as he traced Kansho and Byakuya.

"Geh, you figured it out, I guess it's no use hiding it, at least not from you brother, **seal release!, 'Come to me, O cursed spear and deliver judgement upon my foes'.**" We're the words I used to call gae bolg, my trusty spear.

"Impossible, brother is a campione?, that spear, kukuku, you really were holding back." Said Shirou as he charged.

"Heh, I guess you recognize this spear, well it is rather famous, Charge!." I said as I head toe to toe with Shirou.

I decided no tricks was needed in this fight.

A serious exchange of blows, a cacophony of deadly strikes and efficient deathblows were like a music sheet where two souls understanding each other were reciprocated and an atmosphere of excitement was in the atmosphere.

We lost ourselves completely and we continued to battle for 2 days straight, good thing I had the foresight to create a barrier around us.

"Pant, pant, pant, your a monster nii-san, how can you last 2 days of non-stop fighting?." I said to Shirou.

"What are you babbling about?, we both know we lost ourselves and enjoyed ourselves to much, God, I alsmost came close to an orgasm more times times than I can count, don't lie to me I can feel it, you felt ecstasy like me and felt the same euphoria. Isnt that right otou-to." Shirou said smiling.

"Geh, I neither confirm or deny anything." I said with a straight face.

"Which means yes clearly, but shit, what about the area around us?, we destroyed it beyond repair." Said Shirou as he looked at the ruined forest

"I maybe able to do something, **Wood Release: Nativity of a Sea of Trees.**" I said as I performed a technique which forested a deforested area and shocking Shirou.

"Heh I knew there was a reason we became brothers, even though it was corny being honest with ourselves. Now let's head home, your staying with me, I finally have someone I can understand instead of those battle hungry campione's or those organizations who's always looking for an edge." Said Shirou.

"Damn, I can't hide and prank someone anymore because nii-san will scold me." I said as I realized my entertainment was now shot down most of my fun options.

"Damn right otou-to, now behave, hehehe I can't wait to tell Doni and dance the 'in your face dance' on the bet we made on the first one whom we could adopt as a brother or sister, to the government officials, your name from now on is Emiya Recca." Said Shirou as he dragged me away.

Meanwhile, in the thoughts of Recca.

_"How many times am I gonna get adopted?, no, I did not plan it like this this, I most didn't plan it either that we became brothers and nii-san wants to make it official, God how corny is this."_ Where Recca's as he was dragged away.

**Time Skip 1 week.**

**Europe Copper-Black Cross Headquarters.**

"So Emiya-kun, have you come to join me?, battle me?, or join me in beating the other campione's in Japan." Said Doni.

"Ohh, no, I came here for the bet and dance the 'in your face dance'." Said Shirou as he brought a CD player and danced some groovy moves.

"What was this bet again?." Said Doni.

"It was a bet on which one of us were going to adopt a brother or sister first and I won, hmmm where is that music coming from?." Asked Shirou.

* * *

**Dun dun dun**

"I wanna be the very best, like no-one ever was,

To catch them as my real test, to train them with my cause

I will travel across the land, searching far and wide

each pokemon to understand, the power that's inside."

* * *

**"Konohagakure Secret Taijutsu Ougi: 1000 years of death!."** I said as I delivered a super magical asspoke on Doni which sent him smack to the wall.

"Yes, capture complete, Ichigo-mon and Doni-mon now added to the pokedex, **Bwahahahahahahaha**." I said as I appeared in the room holding a strange beeping red device.

"Uhhh, my ass, who would do such a cowardly thing." Said Doni rubbing his ass.

"That would be my brother, on a side note, I approve, I now lift the ban on your prank probation provided I bear witness to these kinds of things." Said Shirou laughing.

"Not fair, its not fair you got a cool brother, that's it, I'll also adopt him, what do you say my little ball of sunshine." Doni said exitedly.

I quickly cast an illusion and turned myself turning me into a cartoony white rabbit and said "I'm sorry, but trix are for kids."

"That means no in english mister Doni." I said to doni with a straight face.

Doni then cried in a corner as a result.

"That's my brother for you." Said Shiro on the sidelines grinning.


End file.
